Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
