All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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