just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
