So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
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i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you never un-have a 4some