im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have tasted many bathrooms
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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