I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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