why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
