apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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