I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
