Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
