And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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