there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dick very happy bro
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