Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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