Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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