I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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