your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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