fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
