I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
