i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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