i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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