"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
