I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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