Don't you send me to vm
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
its not stalking. its research.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
