im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
