Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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