i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
