The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize