Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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