He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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