my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
