Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
