oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
