vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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