You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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