Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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