can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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