I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
