isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused