Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.