i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.