I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me