so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.