have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize