his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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