I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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