when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
