He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
