He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
