Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
