Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
