This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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