She's JV to your varsity
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am one with the molecules
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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