Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
