in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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