I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was like eating out sand paper
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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