he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
