I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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