maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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