She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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