I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
