Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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