I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize